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When I host an event or have guests over to my home, how can I insist that they do not bring animal products to consume at the event? In particular, I am interested in how to handle ethical opposition to such products without appearing ungrateful for what they might bring, or forcing my views on them.

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    As long as your are upfront about your expectations when offering to host the event and inviting people over, I would say it's fair to forbid animal products. It is your house, after all. If they have a problem with it, they can always choose not to attend.
    – C_Z_
    Feb 22, 2017 at 15:49
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    I feel like this has the same problem as your other question in that we'll just be giving our personal opinion. It would be better I think to ask how you can get away with it, than whether it's acceptable.
    – Zanna
    Feb 22, 2017 at 21:08
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    Yes, I recognize that the same criticisms apply here. I've just asked about these types of questions on meta.vegetarianism and will make an effort to improve them.
    – nloewen
    Feb 22, 2017 at 21:12
  • Do you need to? If you're not eating them, what's the problem? I don't have a problem with guests bringing their own non-vegan food to consume or even getting takeaway. My only restriction is that I don't want them to cook their own food with my utensils, and people get that.
    – xorsyst
    Mar 23, 2017 at 10:51

5 Answers 5

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The host generally makes the rules for an event, so a condition like that is entirely appropriate. If they have dietary/medical needs that they feel cannot be met by vegan means, you might want to ask them to check with you

The way you explain the expectation is going to be entirely culture-dependent. One possibility is including verbiage along the lines of "Guests are encouraged to bring a dish to pass, but please limit yourself to vegan options."

Be warned, though, that with a restriction like this, some people may be turned off, or just decide it's less trouble to skip bringing a contribution. It might be less polarizing to allow non-vegan dishes, but encourage guests to label their dishes if they contain non-vegan or potential allergens "due to dietary restrictions on the part of the host and/or other guests".

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    You should also remind guests what you mean by vegan. For example, people will normally not think about the fact that most wine and beer are not vegan. Also be clear if you consider honey to be vegan or not. If you don't specify these sorts of things, be grateful if people attempted to bring something vegan but made a mistake. Feb 24, 2017 at 5:46
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I believe it is. You are the host and you are offering them a place at your table. Unless there is a medical issue preventing someone to eat what you plan to cook (allergies, perhaps?) it would actually be inappropriate for them to bring their own food. I would say your best shot is to notify them about your intentions beforehand and see what they have to say about it. That way they can tell you their objections and you can judge whether they are serious enough for you to consider.

If someone asks you to explain your expectations, simply ask them whether they would require the host at an omnivore event to tailor their menu according to them, even against his beliefs (eg. demanding from muslim host to serve pork).

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An example I usually call for when faced with this situation is responding "If you would invite people from a place where they eat dog and cat as much as they eat pork, would you serve dog and cat, or would you restrict your food options to those that you find appropriate yourself?". That usually does the trick. People who eat meat, invariably also eat non-meat foods. If nothing else, they will eat fries. But as others suggested, let your guests know before hand so they can grab a bite on the way to your place (as we all have done so often!).

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As with the other comments and answers, it is your house, your party, basically your rules! However that comes across as a bit harsh when put like that. Most reasonable people will not have a problem with your requirements - in fact it is a perfect opportunity to educate them. Meat eaters often scoff at vegetarians, and vegans - mainly through ignorance of the 'product' itself. If you serve a great tasting, interesting and nutritious meal then, maybe, just maybe you have converted someone. If nothing else you may have broadened their horizons. Perhaps say something like 'Hey guys, I know you are not vegetarian, but please allow me to surpise you - tonight is a meat free zone!' If someone is not willing to stick by your rules, then do you really want them at your party?

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    Sometimes you might not be able to chose your guests though?
    – Zanna
    Feb 24, 2017 at 10:38
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    Ah rats - now that is a problem! However I think that explaining nicely but firmly beforehand is maybe the answer then. Feb 24, 2017 at 11:59
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I don't think you should force your guests to conform to your world view.

Every person is different and by insisting that they all be like you in your presence is intolerant and preachy. And the very thing you are seeking is for people to be tolerant of you and your personal choices.

Ideally your personal choices would make you stand out as different and people would ask you about it because they are curious why. Those are the best times to talk on an open and even field.

I didn't become a vegetarian because someone told me about an ethical issue I was in violation of, instead I quit associating with "those" people.

This is an ethical issue, and if you were to reverse the role and be honest you would see how rediculous it would be for you to be asked to eat meat at someone's wing night.

I have a beef farmer father in law and my mother and brothers think that it's impossible to have a meal without a quarter plate of meat.

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    Point completely missed. OP is not asking guests to 'conform to their world view', merely to have respect when they are in OP's house as a guest. Based on your logic, you would keep your shoes on when entering a Japanese house, not put on or remove head covering in a religious situation and bring alcohol to an event hosted by a reformed alcoholic who asked you not to.
    – Steve
    Feb 27, 2017 at 6:59
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    So if the host were a recovering alcoholic who preferred there to be no alcohol around, are you seriously suggesting it is not OK to ask people to not bring alcohol?
    – Steve
    Feb 27, 2017 at 22:34
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    Alcoholism is a disease not a preference, you can't compare the two. Feb 28, 2017 at 13:23
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    A better analogy might be asking guests to not bring pork into my kosher home.
    – Erica
    Feb 28, 2017 at 15:18
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    My home is a welcome and loving space despite me asking people to not bring meat. At least i can count on my visitors to respect my choices.
    – Steve
    Feb 28, 2017 at 20:46

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